Imagine sitting through a movie so cringe-worthy, so utterly baffling, that it earns a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s the fate of The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, a film so notorious that even its young star, Mackenzie Astin, was warned against it by his own father, John Astin—the iconic Gomez from The Addams Family. But here’s where it gets controversial: Was this movie truly a cinematic disaster, or just a misunderstood relic of the ’80s? Let’s dive in.
For starters, let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the garbage can. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is based on the wildly popular trading cards of the mid-’80s, which parodied the saccharine Cabbage Patch Dolls with grotesque, irreverent humor. With over 800 million cards sold, the concept seemed like a no-brainer for a film adaptation. Mackenzie Astin, fresh off his success on NBC’s The Facts of Life, saw it as his big-screen breakthrough. And this is the part most people miss: His father, John, tried desperately to talk him out of it. As Mackenzie later recalled, ‘The contracts were signed by the time my dad had a chance to look at the script. He did everything he could to get me out of it. Like, ‘Dude, this is not a good idea, son. I know what I’m talking about.’ But the ink was dry.’ Spoiler alert: Dad was right.
The plot? A mess. The story follows Dodger (Astin), a young employee at a tattered antique store owned by Captain Manzini (Anthony Newley). The store houses a group of alien creatures—the Garbage Pail Kids—who are supposed to stay hidden. Naturally, they don’t. When Dodger gets into a fight with a gang of bullies, the Kids are unleashed, leading to chaos. The characters themselves are a parade of bodily function-based gags: Valerie Vomit, Messy Tessie, Foul Phil, Windy Winston, and Nat Nerd, to name a few. Their antics range from annoying moviegoers to starting fights in a biker bar, culminating in a bizarre fashion show finale. Here’s the kicker: The film tries to deliver a message about not judging by appearances, but the characters are so repulsive inside and out that the moral falls flat.
Now, let’s address the burning question: Is The Garbage Pail Kids Movie really that bad? The short answer: Yes. The character designs by William Butler are so unsettling they border on nightmarish. The animatronics malfunctioned frequently, leaving actors in oversized fake heads with gaping mouths and lifeless eyes. Add in grating voice work and a script that relies solely on gross-out humor, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Even Mackenzie Astin’s charm can’t save it. But here’s the controversial take: Could this movie be so bad it’s good? Some cult classics thrive on their awfulness, but The Garbage Pail Kids Movie lacks the accidental brilliance of, say, Plan 9 from Outer Space. It’s not even kitschy enough to be a nostalgic relic.
The film’s legacy is so toxic that a 2013 reboot was scrapped before it even began. So, should you watch it? Only if you’re a glutton for punishment. But if you do, don’t say we didn’t warn you. Now, here’s the question for you: Is The Garbage Pail Kids Movie unfairly maligned, or does it deserve its place in the cinematic hall of shame? Let us know in the comments!
